Gross

Honestly, I always knew bar life and university was kinda gross. A lot of incest drama, sex and cliques. I thought I was ready for it and above it all. But then silly me I tend to overestimate myself. Also was not the brightest idea to decide and work at the place where my ex does, silly silly me. I started sleeping with someone about a month ago, quite handsome and with time I’m sure I would have loved to get to know him. He left for Nicaragua for a month and we did not stay in touch when he was down there. He isn’t one for texting and honestly neither am I. As all my friends would tell you I’m actually really horrible at it. So the problem in this story is that he came back a few days ago and straight off the plane he went to my place of work. I was doing coat check so I didn’t get to see him and it was really busy. We spot each other at some point and he comes to give me a huge hug and we try and talk but I was too busy. Also, my ex was waiting for me and pulling me away as we had work to attend to. This is where things go sour. My ex slept with someone and as it turns out the guy I was seeing had also slept with her over the span of a large amount of time. I was under the impression that all that was done so I didn’t really mind it wasn’t my place to protest or anything. The girl, however, comes up to me with shots and squeals “OMG are you sleeping with him? That’s so funny we’ve been sleeping together for years!” ugh barf.

First of all, honey to come to me and tell me that is extremely disrespectful to me and inconsiderate, SECOND ARE WE GONNA BRAID EACH OTHERS HAIR AND COMPARE TECHNIQUES ON BOTH MEN WE’VE APPARENTLY BOTH SLEPT WITH?!?! How the fuck did she think this was gonna go. So then obviously I brush it off. BUT WAIT. That night the guy sleeps at her house and she tells me DONT WORRY WERE NOT GONNA FUCK. Sweetie, that hole you dug just got deeper. AND THEN THE NEXT DAY SHE TELLS MY BOSS AND ROOMMATE THAT THEY SLEPT TOGETHER. So obviously I find out, I mean did she think he wasn’t gonna tell me?!? DUMBASS. She probably wanted me to know. And now at this point, I’m absolutely disgusted with the whole situation. He’s allowed to do wtv the fuck he wants and so is she, but I do not like to have that shit rubbed in my face. It’s not the guys’ fault, but I’m salty because he hasn’t tried to reach out to me and also because I could’ve really gotten to like this guy I think and also because it’s a giant blow to my ego. I do not want to get involved in some weird triangle and it seems that I have. IDK what his plans are maybe I was just sex all along, I do know that picturing them together makes me sick to my stomach, physically nauseous and I have no idea why. Never had that feeling before. It’s not like I haven’t slept with anyone when he was gone, I had my little black velvet adventures. However, I’m not about to go spewing on and on about it. I think the main reason I’m so peeved is because it looks like he picked her over me (they have history), because my pride and ego is momentarily ruined because I look like I’m on the same level as this girl (which I am most fucking definitely not), and because my pride won’t allow me to see this guy anymore for fear of looking like a chump (one of the seven sins I know). The worst part is here I am waiting around for this guy to message me when I know he won’t. And because I could message him first but I am tired of constantly pulling the first move (I blame the extremist feminist movement, that is a damn witch hunt I’d be afraid to breathe if I was a guy).

I’ve been single for some time now, about two years and honestly, it suits me. But I think I’m ready for something more than just sex friends and booze. I am not looking for a boyfriend but I don’t brush aside the possibility, but I guess everyone needs to be knocked down a few pegs sometimes. Even though it feels like I’m taking a lot of hits. I am extremely tired and everything seems worse when I’m tired. But eh, Turns out I don’t need the extra liabilities 😉

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